So there is a "2nd Amendment rights" rally today in the town I currently call secret lair. Being what I represent, I have no problem with people having as many guns, rocket launchers, tanks, gunships or even fully armed-and-operational battle stations. I also firmly believe that I should be the only one with ammunition, and I am slowly, methodically turning this foundation into reality by carefully gaining corporate control over the manufacture of all gunpowder through shell companies1 and will soon have a back-dated patent on all methods of bending metal to conform to the shape of a bullet casing.
Control the means of production, and you will control the output itself.
At any rate, I fully think that these nitwits should be messed with, and I think I know how: simultaneous sci-fi weapons rights rally2! I shall start putting out word that the tyrannical, imperial state government (headed by Mr. Romulous) is suggesting to remove violent-looking weapons from TV shows and comic book stores as they encourage violence in the streets. We should quickly see robed and/or two-tone jumpsuited mobs of nerds carrying signs depicting such pithy remarks as "Save our Phasers" and "Lightsabers don't kill people, Sith do". Perhaps even graphs and placards will be put up to show how handheld photon torpedoes should continue to be legal in case someone attacks you in a dark alley with a Constellation-class starship!
Aside from the ridiculing of the legitimate, peaceful gun owners3, there should be a great deal of delicious tension building up with the clash between the trek/wars factions. I can only imagine the fun if one of them points something "gun-like" at the original group.
One thing I can assure you of, however... in that scenario, Han wouldn't shoot first.
1. And via a non-profit corporation dedicated to helping disadvantaged children learn to read and write. I named it "Shellco". Its logo is a cute cartoon turtle! hee!
2. Alternatively, I could inform the Westboro Baptist Church that there was a gay dead soldier being celebrated today, and two loudmouthed, overbearing, ill-informed, annoying nuisances take care of each other! I call that win-win.
3. "Peaceful" in that they show up in a throng, brandishing deadly firearms, and loudly demand that the fascist muslim communist nazi marxist can take their guns when he pries them out of their cold, dead fingers by marching in lockstep over the peoples' elected government officials, I mean. Ah, irony.
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Friday, February 8, 2013
Friday, August 31, 2012
Lanced!
So now that a bit of time has passed for the imbeciles that think that since Neil Armstrong's dead, he won't have to give back his 7 tour de France medals1 to focus on some other moronic pop culture thing, there's an interesting thing I thought I'd bring up.
While Neil Armstrong was, himself, a pretty awesome guy, and engineer -- the thing he is most well-known for is that he strapped himself into rockets and trusted the engineers, mechanics, scientists and mathematicians to get him where he was going.
Bravery? Yes.
Skill? Definitely.
But nowhere in the common press do I ever hear about the people who got it all right, who put those men on the moon.
Heaven, most people probably can't even name the other two astronauts in the Apollo 11 capsule without Google or Wikipedia2.
People, don't just celebrate your front men. Neil himself had a small ego; it's one of the reasons he was chosen to be the first human to step onto another celestial body. It's all of you together that can do great things, not just a single man. Celebrate your scientists, your engineers, your mechanics, your logistics support. Celebrate science.
Don't cut it away a piece at a time to religious demagoguery. Don't slice it up so that another defense contractor can sell another bomb.
You've got too much riding on this, and your failure to do so... disappoints me.
1. Yes, Really. I'm not joking.
2. Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins, in case you're wondering. Though Collins wasn't in the lander.
While Neil Armstrong was, himself, a pretty awesome guy, and engineer -- the thing he is most well-known for is that he strapped himself into rockets and trusted the engineers, mechanics, scientists and mathematicians to get him where he was going.
Bravery? Yes.
Skill? Definitely.
But nowhere in the common press do I ever hear about the people who got it all right, who put those men on the moon.
Heaven, most people probably can't even name the other two astronauts in the Apollo 11 capsule without Google or Wikipedia2.
People, don't just celebrate your front men. Neil himself had a small ego; it's one of the reasons he was chosen to be the first human to step onto another celestial body. It's all of you together that can do great things, not just a single man. Celebrate your scientists, your engineers, your mechanics, your logistics support. Celebrate science.
Don't cut it away a piece at a time to religious demagoguery. Don't slice it up so that another defense contractor can sell another bomb.
You've got too much riding on this, and your failure to do so... disappoints me.
1. Yes, Really. I'm not joking.
2. Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins, in case you're wondering. Though Collins wasn't in the lander.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Hurricane Isaac Disappointed at Being Turned Away From Convention.
Pensacola, FL, 8/28/2012:
Alyreuters - In an interview today, Hurricane Isaac has stated that he's disappointed about being unable to attend the Republican National Convention being held this week in Tampa Bay, Florida.
"Ever since I became a tropical depression in the warm Atlantic waters, I had one goal: to attend the Republican National Convention so I can always remember the great victory that the Republicans will have this year in the polls. Even though I'll probably peter out and vanish over a large landmass long before the November elections, I'll know that I was there for a part of history." the hurricane said.
When asked of his political leanings, the Hurricane replied: "Well, I wreck economies on a scale measured in GDP; I leave a huge path of destruction in my wake; I indirectly kill the poorest people in society while the richest get sweet government contracts and kickbacks to clean up my mess; and when my eye is directly on you, you know there's going to be more destruction and chaos coming really soon. Of course I'm a Republican! Also, I like strippers and whores."
The Hurricane paused for a moment to wipe out a neighborhood by swelling a river and breaking the levee. "Wow, I don't know why you guys bother with those. They don't work, especially when you've cut all the public safety programs to the bone. You should stop funding that stuff altogether."
"So anyway, I was rather disappointed to find out that I wouldn't be admitted to the Republican convention this year. But I can still be useful: after all, I am a hurricane. I decided to focus my abilities elsewhere; to continue my special brand of tried-and-true "trickle-down" on the poor and middle-class and hit New Orleans, perhaps try some of that spicy Cajun seafood, or catch some sun further along the coast in Texas before turning northward to bring more Republican values to the heartland."
Alyreuters - In an interview today, Hurricane Isaac has stated that he's disappointed about being unable to attend the Republican National Convention being held this week in Tampa Bay, Florida.
"Ever since I became a tropical depression in the warm Atlantic waters, I had one goal: to attend the Republican National Convention so I can always remember the great victory that the Republicans will have this year in the polls. Even though I'll probably peter out and vanish over a large landmass long before the November elections, I'll know that I was there for a part of history." the hurricane said.
When asked of his political leanings, the Hurricane replied: "Well, I wreck economies on a scale measured in GDP; I leave a huge path of destruction in my wake; I indirectly kill the poorest people in society while the richest get sweet government contracts and kickbacks to clean up my mess; and when my eye is directly on you, you know there's going to be more destruction and chaos coming really soon. Of course I'm a Republican! Also, I like strippers and whores."
The Hurricane paused for a moment to wipe out a neighborhood by swelling a river and breaking the levee. "Wow, I don't know why you guys bother with those. They don't work, especially when you've cut all the public safety programs to the bone. You should stop funding that stuff altogether."
"So anyway, I was rather disappointed to find out that I wouldn't be admitted to the Republican convention this year. But I can still be useful: after all, I am a hurricane. I decided to focus my abilities elsewhere; to continue my special brand of tried-and-true "trickle-down" on the poor and middle-class and hit New Orleans, perhaps try some of that spicy Cajun seafood, or catch some sun further along the coast in Texas before turning northward to bring more Republican values to the heartland."
Monday, August 27, 2012
Rushing to conclusions.
Tampa Bay, FL, 8/27/2012:
Alyreuters - Reports are in that Rush Limbaugh has stated that the current Hurricane threatening the gulf coast is of Obama's doing: "Evidently, this Oh-Bama has been using black magic to summon and control a this... what is it, this hurricane Isaac, to aim directly at the Tampa Bay area to try to interfere with the Republican National Convention, hallowed be thy name. It's simply a shame that the taxpayer has had to foot the bill for the black budget for his black cabal to worship the powerful black spirits responsible for this... weather witchcraft."
Limbaugh went on to say: "Now, I'm not saying he definitely sacrificed unborn fetuses to collect enough blood to power his black rituals, but his record on voting for infanticide speaks for itself. I'm just saying, you decide. I can see him, there in the sub-basement of the white house with his black administration, over a black pentagram or whatever it is, speaking in his African language, or whatever it is... blooba blooba [click] blooba [click] [click]... that's how they sound, you know. Anyway, he and his screwed-up administration like known liar White House press secretary Jim Carney and the covetous Ben Bernanke, the fed chairman, who is probably a child molester... I can't prove that, but he probably is, or was... and Sandra Fluke, all down there in some sort of orgy and chanting to their black Gods, all to just change the weather to block the Republicans, to make any progress forward impossible in the economic recovery of this country. That's the sort of politics your black president plays, folks. Dirty. Evil. Black. He'll do anything to win, including lie, cheat and steal from Medicare. And send a hurricane to ruin the Republican convention. Because he can. Do you really want someone like that in the White House for another four years?"
"It was only by the grace of our good, Christian, God that we were able to turn away the hurricane, just in time to block the worst of its black effects." Limbaugh said. "We had good, lily-white spirit Christians praying around the clock so that their chosen nominees and elected officials would remain safe and dry. I guess they didn't, you know, pray quite hard enough, as our folks still got rained on and had to delay the convention stuff for a day. But they turned away the worst effects to somewhere that nobody cares about, and that's what counts."
Limbaugh then added: "Black. Black blackity black black. Nigger. That's the country he's from. What? It's 'Niger'? Eh.. whatever. They know what I mean."
The sound of a pill bottle opening could be heard shortly afterwards, before commercial break.
Alyreuters - Reports are in that Rush Limbaugh has stated that the current Hurricane threatening the gulf coast is of Obama's doing: "Evidently, this Oh-Bama has been using black magic to summon and control a this... what is it, this hurricane Isaac, to aim directly at the Tampa Bay area to try to interfere with the Republican National Convention, hallowed be thy name. It's simply a shame that the taxpayer has had to foot the bill for the black budget for his black cabal to worship the powerful black spirits responsible for this... weather witchcraft."
Limbaugh went on to say: "Now, I'm not saying he definitely sacrificed unborn fetuses to collect enough blood to power his black rituals, but his record on voting for infanticide speaks for itself. I'm just saying, you decide. I can see him, there in the sub-basement of the white house with his black administration, over a black pentagram or whatever it is, speaking in his African language, or whatever it is... blooba blooba [click] blooba [click] [click]... that's how they sound, you know. Anyway, he and his screwed-up administration like known liar White House press secretary Jim Carney and the covetous Ben Bernanke, the fed chairman, who is probably a child molester... I can't prove that, but he probably is, or was... and Sandra Fluke, all down there in some sort of orgy and chanting to their black Gods, all to just change the weather to block the Republicans, to make any progress forward impossible in the economic recovery of this country. That's the sort of politics your black president plays, folks. Dirty. Evil. Black. He'll do anything to win, including lie, cheat and steal from Medicare. And send a hurricane to ruin the Republican convention. Because he can. Do you really want someone like that in the White House for another four years?"
"It was only by the grace of our good, Christian, God that we were able to turn away the hurricane, just in time to block the worst of its black effects." Limbaugh said. "We had good, lily-white spirit Christians praying around the clock so that their chosen nominees and elected officials would remain safe and dry. I guess they didn't, you know, pray quite hard enough, as our folks still got rained on and had to delay the convention stuff for a day. But they turned away the worst effects to somewhere that nobody cares about, and that's what counts."
Limbaugh then added: "Black. Black blackity black black. Nigger. That's the country he's from. What? It's 'Niger'? Eh.. whatever. They know what I mean."
The sound of a pill bottle opening could be heard shortly afterwards, before commercial break.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Akin-Breaky Heart
It's always disappointing when evil has to cull one of its own paragons; a rabid knight in black armor that has suddenly gone too rabid for so many of the sheep that they are trying to fleece that it tips the scales of the balance of power back to virtue.
I, too, am joining the call for representative Akin to step down. Not for what he said or believes; these are standard fare for those of his caste1. No, I'm calling for his career to be fed into the woodchipper of failure because of his audacity, carelessness and lack of grace to speak of it aloud; to put definitive, inevasible and irrefutable words into the heads of the undecided voting populace2 instead of the vague trigger words that nonetheless bring specific thoughts of fear, racism, and misogyny while playing to all the hidden layers of the worst of mankind.
Unfortunately, when one reaches for the dog whistle but grabs the megaphone instead, it quickly turns into quite the unmanageable kerfuffle.
Bishop Romney3 is having enough of a difficult time convincing people he can relate to them4; we don't need someone keep bringing those crazy views up to remind people what the Republican party really stands for. I can't help but to shudder when I imagine him unthinkingly disgorge how we're going to keep taxing the poor to give breaks to the rich, how we're going to destroy the middle class and the environment at every turn to make a buck, or how corporations get special treatment over the commonfolk.
On the other hand, this sacrificial lamb does bring about one nice thing now that I think about it: how long has it been since you've heard anyone mention those tax returns that may show that he's actually a felon?
1. His caste being those that are servants to those of us that run things behind the scenes, the types that his ilk hold umbrellas and serve drinks to while toadying up to us to ask for more money and favors. And a job after they've used up their usefulness to us.
2. What few people are still undecided, that is: after the countless gaffes and inability of the propaganda arm of the Republican party to convince the mindless sheep of the country that their chosen one is 'one of them' and 'just a successful, ordinary guy' and an 'international businessman on an important international business trip'.
3. He's still using 'Bishop', right? Or is it 'Sir'? 'Grand Wizard'? It's so difficult to keep straight these days.
4. Funny, the easiest way that The Leadership in the past has pulled this one off is to say, "Who would you rather have a beer with?" Well, guess why can't they use that one anymore? Yeah... don't want to bring up yet another difference he has with the majority of the lesser classes that he expects to vote for him.
I, too, am joining the call for representative Akin to step down. Not for what he said or believes; these are standard fare for those of his caste1. No, I'm calling for his career to be fed into the woodchipper of failure because of his audacity, carelessness and lack of grace to speak of it aloud; to put definitive, inevasible and irrefutable words into the heads of the undecided voting populace2 instead of the vague trigger words that nonetheless bring specific thoughts of fear, racism, and misogyny while playing to all the hidden layers of the worst of mankind.
Unfortunately, when one reaches for the dog whistle but grabs the megaphone instead, it quickly turns into quite the unmanageable kerfuffle.
Bishop Romney3 is having enough of a difficult time convincing people he can relate to them4; we don't need someone keep bringing those crazy views up to remind people what the Republican party really stands for. I can't help but to shudder when I imagine him unthinkingly disgorge how we're going to keep taxing the poor to give breaks to the rich, how we're going to destroy the middle class and the environment at every turn to make a buck, or how corporations get special treatment over the commonfolk.
On the other hand, this sacrificial lamb does bring about one nice thing now that I think about it: how long has it been since you've heard anyone mention those tax returns that may show that he's actually a felon?
1. His caste being those that are servants to those of us that run things behind the scenes, the types that his ilk hold umbrellas and serve drinks to while toadying up to us to ask for more money and favors. And a job after they've used up their usefulness to us.
2. What few people are still undecided, that is: after the countless gaffes and inability of the propaganda arm of the Republican party to convince the mindless sheep of the country that their chosen one is 'one of them' and 'just a successful, ordinary guy' and an 'international businessman on an important international business trip'.
3. He's still using 'Bishop', right? Or is it 'Sir'? 'Grand Wizard'? It's so difficult to keep straight these days.
4. Funny, the easiest way that The Leadership in the past has pulled this one off is to say, "Who would you rather have a beer with?" Well, guess why can't they use that one anymore? Yeah... don't want to bring up yet another difference he has with the majority of the lesser classes that he expects to vote for him.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Est ergo veritatem.
With the Mars Science Laboratory having been awesomely landed by a team of incredible bad-asses at the United States' JPL last week (and if you haven't seen what that entailed, I highly recommend you look it up. Yourselves. No, I won't Google it for you), I thought it might be a nice thing to go over a bit of comparison between what science has brought us, as a civilization, and what religion and blind ideology have brought about for us. There's also a list, at the very end, of things science is "on the brink" of bringing us: amazing technologies that are right around the corner; visible in the distance as actually achievable but not quite there yet.
Granted, this is mostly a "generalized" list, and I've tried not to include any duplicates, but a few might have crept in here and there. Also, on this list are a few things that you might argue if "science" really brought us. To those arguments I say: shut your pulpy-red organ-filled enamel-crusted speech hole. The way we utilize these items wouldn't be the same without their discovery and effects learned by application of the scientific method.
Things religion and blind ideology have brought us:
Flat-earth theory
Community
War1
Hatred
Faith healing
Animal (including human) sacrifice
Segregation
Warm tingly feeling when facing our own mortality
The Crusades
Torture2
Willingness to sacrifice life for another person's agenda
HIV rates in Africa
Slavery3
Things science has brought us:
Communities that can grow past a few hundred people
Space telescopes
Space shuttle
Moon landing
Pictures from other planets
Understanding of seasons
Clean water
Clean air
Unspoiled food
Refrigerators
Movable type
Penicillin
Knowledge of bacteria
Antibacterials
Knowledge of viruses
Antivirals
Open-heart surgery
New metals
Houses4
Skyscrapers
Microchips
Computers
Laptop computers
Laser printers
Inkjet printers
Smartphones
Tablet computers
Calculators
Abacuses
Elevators
Escalators
Parachutes
Safety vests
Life preservers
Reflective tape
Televisions
Flat panel displays
Radio
Satellites
Satellite TV
GPS
ATMs
Batteries
Computer networks
Wireless networking
Eyeglasses
Contact lenses
Statin drugs
Pacemakers
Heart valve stints
Extended lifespans
Cameras
Digital cameras
Cure for smallpox
Cure for polio
Cure for whooping cough
Cure for scurvy
Survivable appendicitis
Genetic testing
Air conditioning
Central heating
HVAC
Toilets
Vaccuums
Ovens
Dishwashers
Coffee makers
Automobiles
RV's
Trucks
Trailers
Motorcycles
Engines
"Bulletproof" glass
Panes of clear glass
Bulletproof vests
Spun fibers
Cotton clothing
Rayon
Nylon
Polyester
Indoor lighting
Electricity
Tanning booths
Fluorescent lights
Aluminum
Aluminum foil
Steel
Iron
Bronze
Gold
Platinum
Diamonds
Microwave communication
Microwave ovens
Laser communication
Instant hot water
Sanitation
Running water
Hurricane tracking
Tornado warning systems
Airplanes
Helicopters
Printing press
Paper
Books
Keyboards
Pianos
Stringed instruments
Brass instruments
Electronic instruments
Sheet Music
Ships
Astrolabe
Outboard motors
Wheel
Scissors
Magnetic data storage
Optical data storage
Flash data storage
Transistors
Binary electronic systems
The internet
Web browsers
Email
Voice mail
Personal lubrication
Condoms
Birth control pills
Cut gemstones
Agriculture
Chemistry
Geology
Physics
Mathematics
Comic books
Doritos
Canned food
Aluminum cans
Carbonated beverages in every store5
Cardboard
Glue
Nails
Paint
Laser pointers
Blue jeans
Factories
This blog
Telephones
Computer languages
Ceramics
Biomonitors
Beds
IV fluids
Hematology
Instant messengers
Pots and pans
Chlorine
Megaphones
Loudspeakers
Speakers
Bass woofers
X-boxes
Playstations
Computer games
Amplifiers
Tomatoes6
Vitamins
Tape
Staples
Crystals
Uranium
Plutonium
Atomic Theory
Geiger counters
Fire alarms
Burglar alarms
Fast food
Leather
Aerogel
Liquid Skin
Burn therapies
Tang
Dehydrated Foods
Pens
Ball-point pens
Pencils
Roller coasters
Fiber optics
Toothpaste
Soap
Shampoo
Dental hygiene and care
Vulcanization
Volcanology
Coffee
Milk7
Foamed milk
Domesticated animals
Pop rocks
Survivable surgery
Stitches
Antacids
Aspirin
Ibuprofen
Industry
Cargo ships
Sailing
Personal watercraft
Concrete
Asphalt
Roads
Bridges
Shoes
Seismic monitors
Tsunami warning systems
Photography
Video cameras
Genetic tests
Chemotherapy
Sandblasting
Alcohol
Jet turbines
...and lots more!
Things Science is bringing us soon (but you can't quite buy yet):
Self-driving cars
Human-machine direct neural interfaces
Replacement retinas
Cures for severed spinal cords
Contact lenses with embedded electronics (Heads-up Displays, anyone?)
Augmented reality
Wearable computers woven into your clothing
Self-cleaning clothing fibers
Nanotechnology
1. War - Sure, there's also war over resources, but without religion's interference and "God-given" rights a diplomatic solution would have much more likely been found. The planet is not yet to the point of actual resource scarcity for the global community to create an "us or them" mentality, though it is approaching that point quickly. Most wars are begun and fought over ideology and/or religion, and an unwillingness to work together -- something science is good at.
2. Torture - It's been shown again and again not to work. This is contrary to the scientific method. I suppose a case can be made to argue that science has improved the methods of torture both psychologically and physically, but without the willingness to harm another in the name of ideology, torture wouldn't exist in the first place.
3. Slavery - Slavery wouldn't exist without an ideology that some people are better than others, or are a worker class.
4. Houses - Instead of Caves or whatever natural structures were carved by nature. The building materials or methods used for centuries weren't discovered without basic scientific method, whether they be stone block
5. Carbonated Beverages - Carbonated Water occurs naturally, but a method to create, bottle and mass-produce it? Yeah. Scientific Method applied, bitches.
6. Tomatoes - Originally thought to be poisoned. It took someone experimenting with eating them to realize that they were not.
7. Milk - Secretions from a cow's udder? Think you'd be drinking that if someone hadn't tried it first? BAM, Scientific Method!
Granted, this is mostly a "generalized" list, and I've tried not to include any duplicates, but a few might have crept in here and there. Also, on this list are a few things that you might argue if "science" really brought us. To those arguments I say: shut your pulpy-red organ-filled enamel-crusted speech hole. The way we utilize these items wouldn't be the same without their discovery and effects learned by application of the scientific method.
Things religion and blind ideology have brought us:
Flat-earth theory
Community
War1
Hatred
Faith healing
Animal (including human) sacrifice
Segregation
Warm tingly feeling when facing our own mortality
The Crusades
Torture2
Willingness to sacrifice life for another person's agenda
HIV rates in Africa
Slavery3
Things science has brought us:
Communities that can grow past a few hundred people
Space telescopes
Space shuttle
Moon landing
Pictures from other planets
Understanding of seasons
Clean water
Clean air
Unspoiled food
Refrigerators
Movable type
Penicillin
Knowledge of bacteria
Antibacterials
Knowledge of viruses
Antivirals
Open-heart surgery
New metals
Houses4
Skyscrapers
Microchips
Computers
Laptop computers
Laser printers
Inkjet printers
Smartphones
Tablet computers
Calculators
Abacuses
Elevators
Escalators
Parachutes
Safety vests
Life preservers
Reflective tape
Televisions
Flat panel displays
Radio
Satellites
Satellite TV
GPS
ATMs
Batteries
Computer networks
Wireless networking
Eyeglasses
Contact lenses
Statin drugs
Pacemakers
Heart valve stints
Extended lifespans
Cameras
Digital cameras
Cure for smallpox
Cure for polio
Cure for whooping cough
Cure for scurvy
Survivable appendicitis
Genetic testing
Air conditioning
Central heating
HVAC
Toilets
Vaccuums
Ovens
Dishwashers
Coffee makers
Automobiles
RV's
Trucks
Trailers
Motorcycles
Engines
"Bulletproof" glass
Panes of clear glass
Bulletproof vests
Spun fibers
Cotton clothing
Rayon
Nylon
Polyester
Indoor lighting
Electricity
Tanning booths
Fluorescent lights
Aluminum
Aluminum foil
Steel
Iron
Bronze
Gold
Platinum
Diamonds
Microwave communication
Microwave ovens
Laser communication
Instant hot water
Sanitation
Running water
Hurricane tracking
Tornado warning systems
Airplanes
Helicopters
Printing press
Paper
Books
Keyboards
Pianos
Stringed instruments
Brass instruments
Electronic instruments
Sheet Music
Ships
Astrolabe
Outboard motors
Wheel
Scissors
Magnetic data storage
Optical data storage
Flash data storage
Transistors
Binary electronic systems
The internet
Web browsers
Voice mail
Personal lubrication
Condoms
Birth control pills
Cut gemstones
Agriculture
Chemistry
Geology
Physics
Mathematics
Comic books
Doritos
Canned food
Aluminum cans
Carbonated beverages in every store5
Cardboard
Glue
Nails
Paint
Laser pointers
Blue jeans
Factories
This blog
Telephones
Computer languages
Ceramics
Biomonitors
Beds
IV fluids
Hematology
Instant messengers
Pots and pans
Chlorine
Megaphones
Loudspeakers
Speakers
Bass woofers
X-boxes
Playstations
Computer games
Amplifiers
Tomatoes6
Vitamins
Tape
Staples
Crystals
Uranium
Plutonium
Atomic Theory
Geiger counters
Fire alarms
Burglar alarms
Fast food
Leather
Aerogel
Liquid Skin
Burn therapies
Tang
Dehydrated Foods
Pens
Ball-point pens
Pencils
Roller coasters
Fiber optics
Toothpaste
Soap
Shampoo
Dental hygiene and care
Vulcanization
Volcanology
Coffee
Milk7
Foamed milk
Domesticated animals
Pop rocks
Survivable surgery
Stitches
Antacids
Aspirin
Ibuprofen
Industry
Cargo ships
Sailing
Personal watercraft
Concrete
Asphalt
Roads
Bridges
Shoes
Seismic monitors
Tsunami warning systems
Photography
Video cameras
Genetic tests
Chemotherapy
Sandblasting
Alcohol
Jet turbines
...and lots more!
Things Science is bringing us soon (but you can't quite buy yet):
Self-driving cars
Human-machine direct neural interfaces
Replacement retinas
Cures for severed spinal cords
Contact lenses with embedded electronics (Heads-up Displays, anyone?)
Augmented reality
Wearable computers woven into your clothing
Self-cleaning clothing fibers
Nanotechnology
1. War - Sure, there's also war over resources, but without religion's interference and "God-given" rights a diplomatic solution would have much more likely been found. The planet is not yet to the point of actual resource scarcity for the global community to create an "us or them" mentality, though it is approaching that point quickly. Most wars are begun and fought over ideology and/or religion, and an unwillingness to work together -- something science is good at.
2. Torture - It's been shown again and again not to work. This is contrary to the scientific method. I suppose a case can be made to argue that science has improved the methods of torture both psychologically and physically, but without the willingness to harm another in the name of ideology, torture wouldn't exist in the first place.
3. Slavery - Slavery wouldn't exist without an ideology that some people are better than others, or are a worker class.
4. Houses - Instead of Caves or whatever natural structures were carved by nature. The building materials or methods used for centuries weren't discovered without basic scientific method, whether they be stone block
5. Carbonated Beverages - Carbonated Water occurs naturally, but a method to create, bottle and mass-produce it? Yeah. Scientific Method applied, bitches.
6. Tomatoes - Originally thought to be poisoned. It took someone experimenting with eating them to realize that they were not.
7. Milk - Secretions from a cow's udder? Think you'd be drinking that if someone hadn't tried it first? BAM, Scientific Method!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Minions Wanted...
Good1 help is hard to find. When I was running ...The Organization, I would often have to replace minions due to the turnover expected in any multinational corporate entity -- Leaving for more lucrative work, promotion, standing in fire, freak lab accidents, being between ends of plasma induction coils when they are powered on... well, you get the idea2. The problem is, the inevitable horrible-death-or-disfigurement-to-compensation ratio is so high that most of the "applicants" you get are imbeciles that don't know the business end of a Steyr AMR-36 assault rifle from a hole in the ground, brown-nosing yes-cretins that tell you your plan is genius even when you're giving them a test with an obviously terrible plan, or overly-ambitious ladder-climbers that will stab you in the back to usurp your hard-won power at the most inopportune moment3.
So once I rebuild ...The Organization, I plan on a new model of recruitment. Namely, one that provides me plenty of unambitious, dumber-than-average yet still somehow able to pass a Turing test minions that actually have some firearms training and are willing to work for peanuts; a model that, if done right, I will need only compete with southern evangelical mega-churches for a steady stream of loyally slavering underlings that will do my bidding with the flimsiest of rationalizations.
Yes, you vile little social barnacles. I'm talking about Tea Partiers4! No, I'm not going to reveal my entire 695 step plan, I'll only give you a taste!
You see, when a Tea Partier sees a picture of your president with a hitler mustache or the words, "Obama is a socialist muslim fascist commie kitty-hater who wants to take away your Medicare and give it to undocumented immigrants!" on sign held by an older, white male or somewhat-hottish, plastic church mom6, the deep-rooted fear and racial prejudice machines that have been ingrained into his or her unused grey matter by countless hours of propaganda kick in together to create a potent, toxic slurry that douses their very morals. It shoots right down to their gut and nearly physically pulls them into the crowd, irresistibly drawing inward, and soon he or she has crossed the event horizon of sanity and is spouting the same nonsense like a parrot taught to curse7. The truth in their minds gains validity by the volume and quantity of those speaking it, regardless of actual facts or historical trends.
Bonus points if the crowd members are shouting something along the lines of, "Gunmint's gunna take away yer guns!8" or "Occupy Wall Street wants to take your money!"
So, after first setting up an ammo-selling9 booth nearby for liberating cash from those eager to be parted from it10, I plan on employing "Crowdforcing11" techniques to move them to my own ends. Methods include:
So, the next time you see a crowd of gun-toting, sign-wielding white imbeciles milling about, beware my ire and be sure to leave plenty of supplication in the collection box16.
It may just be the beginning of my re-ascension to power.
3. For instance: when you're gloating and/or monologuing over the hero/damsel you're about to utterly destroy.
4. Sadly, only the modern-day versions. I haven't yet perfected my reanimation ray, and my time machine is in the shop because it was overheating.
5. Stop your snickering. The number is merely a coincidence!
6. Closely related to the soccer mom.
7. And hate.
8. Note the clever 1:2 ratio of words containing "gun" to those without.
9. "Buy three shells for the price of 4, and get one free!"
10. Also: arming them for whatever nefarious scheme I have planned at their cost...
11. It's a new field of study on how to manipulate mobs into doing what you want. A combination of logical fallacies and mind-altering gas. As seen on Fox News!
12. Regardless of their country of citizenship.
13. People I don't like.
14. "You must have 'great faith' to take the step on the bridge." "Oops! Last one didn't have enough faith. Next! Now, you look like a devout fellow!"
15. Coincidental Homophone? There are no coincidences. Except for that number of steps in my plan thing from earlier. There is only one coincidence.
16. Alternatively, feel free to buy some ammo at the AlyredCo® Ammo-n-Alcohol© booth and join in the pawn party milling away nearby.
So once I rebuild ...The Organization, I plan on a new model of recruitment. Namely, one that provides me plenty of unambitious, dumber-than-average yet still somehow able to pass a Turing test minions that actually have some firearms training and are willing to work for peanuts; a model that, if done right, I will need only compete with southern evangelical mega-churches for a steady stream of loyally slavering underlings that will do my bidding with the flimsiest of rationalizations.Yes, you vile little social barnacles. I'm talking about Tea Partiers4! No, I'm not going to reveal my entire 695 step plan, I'll only give you a taste!
You see, when a Tea Partier sees a picture of your president with a hitler mustache or the words, "Obama is a socialist muslim fascist commie kitty-hater who wants to take away your Medicare and give it to undocumented immigrants!" on sign held by an older, white male or somewhat-hottish, plastic church mom6, the deep-rooted fear and racial prejudice machines that have been ingrained into his or her unused grey matter by countless hours of propaganda kick in together to create a potent, toxic slurry that douses their very morals. It shoots right down to their gut and nearly physically pulls them into the crowd, irresistibly drawing inward, and soon he or she has crossed the event horizon of sanity and is spouting the same nonsense like a parrot taught to curse7. The truth in their minds gains validity by the volume and quantity of those speaking it, regardless of actual facts or historical trends.
Bonus points if the crowd members are shouting something along the lines of, "Gunmint's gunna take away yer guns!8" or "Occupy Wall Street wants to take your money!"
So, after first setting up an ammo-selling9 booth nearby for liberating cash from those eager to be parted from it10, I plan on employing "Crowdforcing11" techniques to move them to my own ends. Methods include:
- Saying my target is threatening their ability to bear arms, and that we should march on them NOW and kick them out of the country12.
- Having them construct large towers with rotary cannon emplacements to make sure the "wrong type13" of people can't get into their gated communities.
- If I need to cross a deep chasm, use circular logic and/or religion to have them cast their bodies into it until I can comfortably stroll from one side to the other14.
- Telling them that "That's the way Reagan did/wanted it" for whatever cockamamie scheme I want them to carry out.
- Make their minds mushy and pliable by watching hours of Fox News or some reality show, like "So you think you can dance with the survivor idols." To rile them: Bill O'Reilly15.
There's lots more, but listing them has become blasé.
It may just be the beginning of my re-ascension to power.
1. And by 'good', I mean 'evil'.
2. Also: suicide, suicide by betrayal, suicide by failure, suicide by displeasing their overlord in any way...3. For instance: when you're gloating and/or monologuing over the hero/damsel you're about to utterly destroy.
4. Sadly, only the modern-day versions. I haven't yet perfected my reanimation ray, and my time machine is in the shop because it was overheating.
5. Stop your snickering. The number is merely a coincidence!
6. Closely related to the soccer mom.
7. And hate.
8. Note the clever 1:2 ratio of words containing "gun" to those without.
9. "Buy three shells for the price of 4, and get one free!"
10. Also: arming them for whatever nefarious scheme I have planned at their cost...
11. It's a new field of study on how to manipulate mobs into doing what you want. A combination of logical fallacies and mind-altering gas. As seen on Fox News!
12. Regardless of their country of citizenship.
13. People I don't like.
14. "You must have 'great faith' to take the step on the bridge." "Oops! Last one didn't have enough faith. Next! Now, you look like a devout fellow!"
15. Coincidental Homophone? There are no coincidences. Except for that number of steps in my plan thing from earlier. There is only one coincidence.
16. Alternatively, feel free to buy some ammo at the AlyredCo® Ammo-n-Alcohol© booth and join in the pawn party milling away nearby.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Mitre makes Right!
If my black, hemoglobin-injected mechanical fluid pump were capable, one of the few things I would love1 would be Religion. Not little-r religion, as in "I'm spiritual" or "Oh no I've said too much." Personal belief, faith, whatever -- knock yourself out. No, I'm talking about big-R Religion, the organizations of masses of humanity that proclaim to be worshiping a particular God (or Gods), but in essence only follow the direction of a localized power structure that often espouses policies antipodal to the teachings of their deity. Indeed, it seems ludicrous that the "lambs" of a congregation or sect fail to consider how truly sheep-like they've become: led by someone more powerful with only the interests of the patriciate in mind, shorn of their valuable wool, and sacrificed at will. Used by their patrons to extract fealty, riches, and ultimately greater power, they reinforce their own cognitive dissonance by accepting that it is not right to question the words of their creator, because the words of the creator were written by men inspired by (whichever) deity and those words of <insert deity here> say to not question them. Since those books are written thus, it must be true and therefore must exist because it cannot be proven that it does not.
In fact, it appears that most Religions are sustained merely by logical fallacy, particularly appeal to authority and burden of proof. Yet, the flock of imbeciles seems unable or unwilling to break from their self-enforced ignorance long enough to realize the wool2 is being pulled over their eyes.
For instance, let's point out the cognitive dissonance of the parishioners of a particular Religion, where murder is a forgivable sin but divorce is an ex-communicable offense. Where adultery is sin but their own priests are shuffled around from parish to parish to cover up their pedophilia. When caught, well, just shovel out some of the treasure and the problem goes away. Hopefully the priest has already shuffled off to his eternal reward in the afterlife.
What about another Religion, where the parishioners believe that their convicted con-artist founder, who discovered some magic stones (twice!) that allowed him to "translate" some golden plates that he allowed nobody else to see, and believe that their savior (and lost Jewish tribe) came to America3 despite mountains of archaeological evidence against it, decry how badly they've been discriminated against -- and then use millions of their hoarded loot to fund a campaign discriminating against a class of individual in your state of California. Also, they believed until 1978 that black folks bore the mark of Cain and banned them from their ministry. But hey, what's a little racism amongst mindless drones?
Let's not even expound upon a Religion conceived by a science fiction writer that believes you're all alien spirits from an alien prison world that arrived here by alien spirit prison ships.
So for such a powerful tool by the leaders of these Religions, you'd think that said leaders would be rather content. That's where you'd be wrong, because if you know anything about evil overlords, you'd know we're never content. No, Religions have made sure that while their followers are fanatical and devoted to allowing themselves to be fleeced by their leaders, that they're also almost always incompatible with other power structures of a Godly nature. In fact, many are so diametrically opposed (while actually espousing similar ideals) that they must constantly be locked in battle4.
This dissonance, of course, plays right into the hands of the godless military industrial complex, which uses the religion-contented state of the sheep to fleece further money through taxes for building weaponry to kill the other people that don't believe in their version of sky cake. Having a phantom bogey-man is always good for the bottom line.
Meanwhile, the masses are told that their government (a competitor with Religion for the wool of the sheep) is taxing them too much, and that they should demand cuts5 in government programs to the disadvantaged6 in society because it's the church's job to care for them out of the goodness of their 501(c)(3) hearts. The military gets a free pass, of course, and to ask those that are in power to pay a bit more7 is Anti-American Socialist Communist Nazi Hippie talk. But don't worry, ye disadvantaged. You'll be rewarded in heaven for living piously and destitute.
Meanwhile, the riches, power and control keep getting concentrated upwards. Excellent.
1. Aside from unlimited power and subterranean vaults full of precious metals.
2. Often wool shorn from their own sheep-like hides in the form of tithes or collections.
3. Evidently by the steamships common in the days. "Dead Sea Cruise Lines -- We float becausephysics God says we have to."
4. Most religions haven't explored the moral issue of their "loving God" condemning his lambs of other Religions to eternity of hellfire just because they were raised in a different society with no chance to worship him. For those that have, I salute your ingenuity.
5. I've always said, if you can't compete with quality, get a horde of pitchfork-wielding morons to yell louder than everyone else about it.
6. Lazy.
7. Or even their fair share.
In fact, it appears that most Religions are sustained merely by logical fallacy, particularly appeal to authority and burden of proof. Yet, the flock of imbeciles seems unable or unwilling to break from their self-enforced ignorance long enough to realize the wool2 is being pulled over their eyes.
For instance, let's point out the cognitive dissonance of the parishioners of a particular Religion, where murder is a forgivable sin but divorce is an ex-communicable offense. Where adultery is sin but their own priests are shuffled around from parish to parish to cover up their pedophilia. When caught, well, just shovel out some of the treasure and the problem goes away. Hopefully the priest has already shuffled off to his eternal reward in the afterlife.
What about another Religion, where the parishioners believe that their convicted con-artist founder, who discovered some magic stones (twice!) that allowed him to "translate" some golden plates that he allowed nobody else to see, and believe that their savior (and lost Jewish tribe) came to America3 despite mountains of archaeological evidence against it, decry how badly they've been discriminated against -- and then use millions of their hoarded loot to fund a campaign discriminating against a class of individual in your state of California. Also, they believed until 1978 that black folks bore the mark of Cain and banned them from their ministry. But hey, what's a little racism amongst mindless drones?
Let's not even expound upon a Religion conceived by a science fiction writer that believes you're all alien spirits from an alien prison world that arrived here by alien spirit prison ships.
So for such a powerful tool by the leaders of these Religions, you'd think that said leaders would be rather content. That's where you'd be wrong, because if you know anything about evil overlords, you'd know we're never content. No, Religions have made sure that while their followers are fanatical and devoted to allowing themselves to be fleeced by their leaders, that they're also almost always incompatible with other power structures of a Godly nature. In fact, many are so diametrically opposed (while actually espousing similar ideals) that they must constantly be locked in battle4.
This dissonance, of course, plays right into the hands of the godless military industrial complex, which uses the religion-contented state of the sheep to fleece further money through taxes for building weaponry to kill the other people that don't believe in their version of sky cake. Having a phantom bogey-man is always good for the bottom line.
Meanwhile, the masses are told that their government (a competitor with Religion for the wool of the sheep) is taxing them too much, and that they should demand cuts5 in government programs to the disadvantaged6 in society because it's the church's job to care for them out of the goodness of their 501(c)(3) hearts. The military gets a free pass, of course, and to ask those that are in power to pay a bit more7 is Anti-American Socialist Communist Nazi Hippie talk. But don't worry, ye disadvantaged. You'll be rewarded in heaven for living piously and destitute.
Meanwhile, the riches, power and control keep getting concentrated upwards. Excellent.
1. Aside from unlimited power and subterranean vaults full of precious metals.
2. Often wool shorn from their own sheep-like hides in the form of tithes or collections.
3. Evidently by the steamships common in the days. "Dead Sea Cruise Lines -- We float because
4. Most religions haven't explored the moral issue of their "loving God" condemning his lambs of other Religions to eternity of hellfire just because they were raised in a different society with no chance to worship him. For those that have, I salute your ingenuity.
5. I've always said, if you can't compete with quality, get a horde of pitchfork-wielding morons to yell louder than everyone else about it.
6. Lazy.
7. Or even their fair share.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Electoral Barrage
America,
It has come to my attention that you intend to hold an "election" of some sort, perhaps involving billions of your dollars provided to some sort of faceless automatons beholden to those entities donating said money.
Putting aside for the moment the fact that if your peasantry is so stupid that they take television advertisements at face value, and that therefore the quantity of money spent by a candidate increases the likelihood of that candidate being elected, why hasn't it self evident that there must be an ulterior motive for a candidate (or their lackeys) to spend millions or hundreds of millions of dollars just to get into a job that pays a few hundred thousand dollars a year?
Back in Alyredia (my island nation) the population was kept rather in-check by threats1 of violence and pitting one class against another against both of their best interests. Take, for instance, when I told the mud farmers that the hemp processors (who were organizing to bargain for better working conditions) were only in it for themselves and taking a cut off the top while everyone else worked their tails2 off. Additionally, those dirty hemp fatcats wanted to get someone to replace me through something called a "bloodless coup", so I spread the rumor that their guy was all about just taking money and giving it to some stupid social programs for lazy people.
You know what they did? When the hemp people went to meet with the mud people, it was a riot. Literally, a riot -- that's not a figure of speech. I'm not sure what happened to their candidate, but he was never seen again and definitely did not end up in an unmarked grave somewhere after having been "escorted" away from the meeting by a few of my loyal undercover soldiers.
Ah, good times.
I guess it does no good to poke fun at the willful ignorance of the American people, however. Despite having free and (nearly) unrestricted access to a wealth of information in the form of the internet, few take up the large cup just sitting there, tantalizingly, at the edge of the well of knowledge. Perhaps the filter on this cup is just too hard to configure, or perhaps the giant bag of refined sugar sitting next to it in the form of Facebook and Fox news is just too hard to resist by the mentally-diabetic masses. The amusing part is, many of them are pouring it directly into the well, contaminating it for all.
With the state of the "media" as it is in America, it shouldn't be difficult to continue the rule of the upper class, by hook or by crook: duplicitous ads that the proletariat believe must be truthful by law; "irregularities" of voting machines made by companies that will benefit greatly if a particular candidate wins; voter suppression at the polls; gerrymandering in states to carefully eliminate pockets of resistance (or at least minimize their impact by putting them all in one district). Combined with the "pass-the-blame" game of blocking any economic improvement measure and the complaint that it's "not getting better fast enough" actually working on a short-attention-span, no-memory populace, it seems as though most of the political money spent is rather wasteful both during and after an election. Millions spent on commercials to sway voters that will have their vote nullified could be far better spent, say, on building a laser to blow up the moon or on mind control rays.
I have a far better solution.
Why not elect the lobbyists directly? It's proven that elections in America can now be bought by the highest bidder, and who bids higher than the corporations and the lobbyists that work for them? This works within your quaint electoral system. It also cuts out the middleman politician, which reduces the amount of money it costs to have a law written. We also wouldn't waste as much time with frivolous pursuits: laws would only be written to benefit the people3 that deserve them.
What are currently known as "contributions4" can just be called a salary (with bonuses for the number of laws passed that benefit the lobbyist's employer). The taxpayer need not pay them at all; their money would come directly from the corporations they work for and represent.
Finally, the position could be non-specific; the lobbyist merely holds a seat and can be replaced by his or her employer at any time, should they show a streak of independence or if the employer is in any way displeased with the lobbyist's performance.
What do you say, America? Won't you help the poor, destitute corporations that have suffered so greatly under Obama's iron-fisted anti-business neo-fascist zombie granola-eating Nazi Muslim pedophile take-away-your-guns hasn't-fixed-the-previous-administration's-mess-fast-enough America-hating rule? Those corporations who have really learned their lesson after losing two trillion dollars to risky ventures after being bailed out just a couple of years ago this time we promise? Come on, Chase Bank, Citigroup, and Koch industries will let all that money they save on buying the presidency trickle down to you, because this time will be way different than the last time.
Who you gonna believe? Those who are spending millions or your own lying historical facts?
Actually, it doesn't really matter. The vote can simply be fixed and certified by the supreme court if necessary.
¡Viva la Corporatión!
1. More "displays", less "threats".
2. Again, not quite a figure of speech. Many of the menial class were born with tails due to inbreeding and industrial waste products.
3. Corporations and the rich people that run them.
4. Also known as "bribes" in other circumstances.
It has come to my attention that you intend to hold an "election" of some sort, perhaps involving billions of your dollars provided to some sort of faceless automatons beholden to those entities donating said money.
Putting aside for the moment the fact that if your peasantry is so stupid that they take television advertisements at face value, and that therefore the quantity of money spent by a candidate increases the likelihood of that candidate being elected, why hasn't it self evident that there must be an ulterior motive for a candidate (or their lackeys) to spend millions or hundreds of millions of dollars just to get into a job that pays a few hundred thousand dollars a year?
Back in Alyredia (my island nation) the population was kept rather in-check by threats1 of violence and pitting one class against another against both of their best interests. Take, for instance, when I told the mud farmers that the hemp processors (who were organizing to bargain for better working conditions) were only in it for themselves and taking a cut off the top while everyone else worked their tails2 off. Additionally, those dirty hemp fatcats wanted to get someone to replace me through something called a "bloodless coup", so I spread the rumor that their guy was all about just taking money and giving it to some stupid social programs for lazy people.
You know what they did? When the hemp people went to meet with the mud people, it was a riot. Literally, a riot -- that's not a figure of speech. I'm not sure what happened to their candidate, but he was never seen again and definitely did not end up in an unmarked grave somewhere after having been "escorted" away from the meeting by a few of my loyal undercover soldiers.
Ah, good times.
I guess it does no good to poke fun at the willful ignorance of the American people, however. Despite having free and (nearly) unrestricted access to a wealth of information in the form of the internet, few take up the large cup just sitting there, tantalizingly, at the edge of the well of knowledge. Perhaps the filter on this cup is just too hard to configure, or perhaps the giant bag of refined sugar sitting next to it in the form of Facebook and Fox news is just too hard to resist by the mentally-diabetic masses. The amusing part is, many of them are pouring it directly into the well, contaminating it for all.
With the state of the "media" as it is in America, it shouldn't be difficult to continue the rule of the upper class, by hook or by crook: duplicitous ads that the proletariat believe must be truthful by law; "irregularities" of voting machines made by companies that will benefit greatly if a particular candidate wins; voter suppression at the polls; gerrymandering in states to carefully eliminate pockets of resistance (or at least minimize their impact by putting them all in one district). Combined with the "pass-the-blame" game of blocking any economic improvement measure and the complaint that it's "not getting better fast enough" actually working on a short-attention-span, no-memory populace, it seems as though most of the political money spent is rather wasteful both during and after an election. Millions spent on commercials to sway voters that will have their vote nullified could be far better spent, say, on building a laser to blow up the moon or on mind control rays.
I have a far better solution.
Why not elect the lobbyists directly? It's proven that elections in America can now be bought by the highest bidder, and who bids higher than the corporations and the lobbyists that work for them? This works within your quaint electoral system. It also cuts out the middleman politician, which reduces the amount of money it costs to have a law written. We also wouldn't waste as much time with frivolous pursuits: laws would only be written to benefit the people3 that deserve them.
What are currently known as "contributions4" can just be called a salary (with bonuses for the number of laws passed that benefit the lobbyist's employer). The taxpayer need not pay them at all; their money would come directly from the corporations they work for and represent.
Finally, the position could be non-specific; the lobbyist merely holds a seat and can be replaced by his or her employer at any time, should they show a streak of independence or if the employer is in any way displeased with the lobbyist's performance.
What do you say, America? Won't you help the poor, destitute corporations that have suffered so greatly under Obama's iron-fisted anti-business neo-fascist zombie granola-eating Nazi Muslim pedophile take-away-your-guns hasn't-fixed-the-previous-administration's-mess-fast-enough America-hating rule? Those corporations who have really learned their lesson after losing two trillion dollars to risky ventures after being bailed out just a couple of years ago this time we promise? Come on, Chase Bank, Citigroup, and Koch industries will let all that money they save on buying the presidency trickle down to you, because this time will be way different than the last time.
Who you gonna believe? Those who are spending millions or your own lying historical facts?
Actually, it doesn't really matter. The vote can simply be fixed and certified by the supreme court if necessary.
¡Viva la Corporatión!
1. More "displays", less "threats".
2. Again, not quite a figure of speech. Many of the menial class were born with tails due to inbreeding and industrial waste products.
3. Corporations and the rich people that run them.
4. Also known as "bribes" in other circumstances.
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