Thursday, September 12, 2013

Layers sloughed away.

Cerebral Assault (n.): Also known as Intellectual Assault or Rational Assault, Cerebral Assault is a sudden onslaught of words, pictures or ideas so mind-numbing and insipidly stupid that it causes the recipient to feel significantly less intelligent and unable to think clearly for a period of time.

Symptoms of victims of cerebral assault include: inability to spell correctly or form coherent sentences; mindless gibbering; crying; glassy-eyed wandering of the hallways, mumbling in dead languages; shallow breathing; and staring off into space awaiting (and possibly planning how to hasten) the inevitable demise of all humans as the dumbest multiply the fastest, crowding out any light of hope for mankind.

If you, or anyone else you know suffers from Cerebral Assault, call our toll-free hotline immediately. The call is free.