Monday, August 27, 2012

Rushing to conclusions.

Tampa Bay, FL, 8/27/2012:
Alyreuters - Reports are in that Rush Limbaugh has stated that the current Hurricane threatening the gulf coast is of Obama's doing: "Evidently, this Oh-Bama has been using black magic to summon and control a this... what is it, this hurricane Isaac, to aim directly at the Tampa Bay area to try to interfere with the Republican National Convention, hallowed be thy name. It's simply a shame that the taxpayer has had to foot the bill for the black budget for his black cabal to worship the powerful black spirits responsible for this... weather witchcraft."

Limbaugh went on to say: "Now, I'm not saying he definitely sacrificed unborn fetuses to collect enough blood to power his black rituals, but his record on voting for infanticide speaks for itself. I'm just saying, you decide. I can see him, there in the sub-basement of the white house with his black administration, over a black pentagram or whatever it is, speaking in his African language, or whatever it is... blooba blooba [click] blooba [click] [click]... that's how they sound, you know. Anyway, he and his screwed-up administration like known liar White House press secretary Jim Carney and the covetous Ben Bernanke, the fed chairman, who is probably a child molester... I can't prove that, but he probably is, or was... and Sandra Fluke, all down there in some sort of orgy and chanting to their black Gods, all to just change the weather to block the Republicans, to make any progress forward impossible in the economic recovery of this country. That's the sort of politics your black president plays, folks. Dirty. Evil. Black. He'll do anything to win, including lie, cheat and steal from Medicare. And send a hurricane to ruin the Republican convention. Because he can. Do you really want someone like that in the White House for another four years?"

"It was only by the grace of our good, Christian, God that we were able to turn away the hurricane, just in time to block the worst of its black effects." Limbaugh said. "We had good, lily-white spirit Christians praying around the clock so that their chosen nominees and elected officials would remain safe and dry. I guess they didn't, you know, pray quite hard enough, as our folks still got rained on and had to delay the convention stuff for a day. But they turned away the worst effects to somewhere that nobody cares about, and that's what counts."

Limbaugh then added: "Black. Black blackity black black. Nigger. That's the country he's from. What? It's 'Niger'? Eh.. whatever. They know what I mean."

The sound of a pill bottle opening could be heard shortly afterwards, before commercial break.

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